


Penny for your thoughts but a dollar for your insights

by astralplanewife



Category: Boruto: Naruto Next Generations
Genre: Autism Spectrum, Autistic!Mitsuki, Comedy, Developing Friendships, Gen, Group chat, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Nonbinary!Orochimaru, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-17
Updated: 2019-03-21
Packaged: 2019-06-28 18:30:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15712698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astralplanewife/pseuds/astralplanewife
Summary: Well, seeing as they were stuck with being the new Team 7 for all foreseeable eternity, Sarada might as well get to know Mitsuki and become better friends with him! Or they could just make fun of Boruto all day together, that would work too.





	1. I'm just a painter and I'm drawing a blank

**Author's Note:**

> So... Turns out all I wanna write is silly Boruto fanfic... I guess I'll embrace this new passion for writing top-notch Ninja Comedy and post this! I think this will have multiple chapters, but I also don't really know where I'm gonna go with this. Anyways, enjoy(?).
> 
> Beta:d and ninja proof-checked by Reaperduckling  
> title from the song "don't you know who i think i am" by fall out boy
> 
> EDIT(2/5-19): i updated this with COVER ART by none other than ME!!! yeehaw

Another day, another Team 7 group activity, and _yet_ another Boruto-related annoyance. Sarada had already pointed out several times that they all had paperwork to finish, but Boruto wouldn’t get to work because he wouldn’t stop checking himself out in a nearby mirror in the big hall of the Ninja Academy.

 “Hm, yes! I’ve sure grown into a fine man!” Boruto said while flexing but not really impressing anyone.

“I’m not sure about that. It certainly doesn’t show through your facial hair,” Sarada said, narrowing her eyes both in suppressed laughter and devilish roasting glee. “Between you and Mitsuki, I’d say that you have about half a moustache _together_ , and that’s being generous.”

“Moustache? You’re probably thinking of his whiskers.” Mitsuki said innocently.

“Traitors! You two are both snakes!” Boruto huffed and hissed at them a couple of times for good measure.

“Boruto, I think you’re really amazing, but please don’t ever hiss like that again. What you just said are actually some deeply offensive swear words in Snake.” Mitsuki said, very seriously.

“Bah! Humbug! I’ll go find some better teammates elsewhere!” Boruto shouted, turned around and stormed away dramatically.

“Well… Judging from experience, he’ll be gone cooling off from his tantrum for at least two hours. What are we going to do in the meantime? Usually his constant antics is what keeps me entertained throughout the day, I’m not so sure you’re as fun.” Mitsuki said.

“Excuse you, I am hilarious! You _just heard_ my facial hair diss, and it was masterful,” Sarada sputtered, feeling extremely offended. “We _could_ still finish our paperwork for the last mission, you know, if that’s _fun_ enough for you? Hmm? ”

“I guess,” Mitsuki shrugged and pulled said paperwork out of his fanny pack.

Sitting on the floor, they finished the paperwork in 15 minutes flat. Just when Sarada was about to fold the piece of paper and put it in an envelope, she realized something.

“Mitsuki, we can’t turn this in just now, Boruto still has to sign it.” Sarada said.

“Hm, I could just fake his handwriting and sign it for him though? It would be very easy, I would just have to fingerpaint the characters while channeling the artistic expertise of a four-year-old. It’s not like anyone would notice,” Mitsuki said.

Sarada snickered. Mitsuki seemed to take that as a yes, and dipped his finger in ink and started scribbling away Boruto’s name on the paper. The end result was actually very similar to Boruto’s actual handwriting.

“Huh! Well, that’s great. We’ll just have to go and make Konohamaru-sensei sign it too. Unless you can copy his signature as well?” Sarada teased.

At that, Mitsuki immediately picked up his pen, and Sarada felt the need to backtrack.

“I mean, no! I was joking! We’ll probably get caught and in trouble! I can’t become Hokage if I have _that much_ paperwork fraud on my record!” she protested, physically reaching out to snatch the paper away from him. But before she could reach it, Mitsuki just gave her the paper.

Sarada’s phone buzzed and upon opening it she discovered that Boruto had written something in their three-person-group chat.

**Kagemasafan9000:** ey wyd guys

Even though viewing Boruto’s chosen username for the group chat filled her with great rage and distaste, Sarada was glad to see that he had chosen to make contact again.

**Sarada Uchiha:** We’re in the same place you left us. We just finished some paperwork, you should come join us so we can turn it in to Konohamaru-sensei.

**Kagemasafan9000:** ye ok

“Boruto just wrote in the group chat! He didn’t say if he was coming or not, but he knows what we’re up to now at least.” Sarada said, looking up from her phone. Mitsuki shrugged.

“Yeah, I know. I also read the conversation in the group chat just now,” he said.

“…how? I didn’t see you look at your phone?”

“I actually use my snake phone to access the group chat, and as for the actual mechanics of snake phone web browsers: it’s like a screen reader with voice control. It reads out loud what is said on the page, and I respond by a dictation feature. See!” Mitsuki said, pulling something out from behind his ear that, very well, turned out to be a snake.

“Huh!” Sarada replied smartly. A moment passed while Mitsuki mumbled something under his breath, and Sarada’s phone buzzed again.

**Mitsuki(?):** Alssso, Boruto, I faked your sssignature on the paperwork.

Sarada looked up at Mitsuki. He looked very proud of himself, like by demonstrating _whatever this_ was he’d shown Sarada the nicest thing he owned. Sarada, on the other hand, felt very, very lost.

“Of course, there is a slight problem with the snakiness of it all distorting the text a bit…” Mitsuki said. But before he could explain more about that, he was thankfully interrupted by a cracky preteen voice that Sarada knew well but didn’t exactly like that much:

“So I leave for like twenty minutes, and what do I find! You guys _faked_ my _signature_? Oh no! We’ll all go to liar’s jail!” Boruto said sarcastically in a mixture of whispering and yelling, having apparently come back from his previous temper tantrum.

“To be fair, you stormed away dramatically and said you were going to find better teammates. We didn’t exactly know when you were going to come back.” Mitsuki answered.

“I didn’t _storm_ off, I just… walked away briskly! But yeah, nah, it’s cool, that just means less paperwork for me. Please continue committing paperwork fraud in the good name of me not getting a hand cramp,” Boruto continued nonchalantly, waving his hand in the air.

Sarada felt a migraine coming on and started rubbing her temples.

“You know…. Boruto, you’re technically not stupid. You’re actually smart enough to get away with slacking. As the future Hokage, if you’re really going to become my right hand man… Can’t I ask for a little more effort?” Sarada pleaded.

“Oh! Oh yeah, I promised that, didn’t I! Yeah sure, I guess!” Boruto laughed, scratching the back of his head.

Well, that was _sort of_ a promise. _Great._

“As much as I’d love to sit around all day doing nothing, we gotta turn this in to Big Bro Konohamaru! To his office!” Boruto shouted and ninja ran towards the location of said office, without actually taking the paperwork with him.

Sarada looked over to Mitsuki with a “Can you believe this guy”-gesture, but noticed that Mitsuki was actually staring in the general direction of wherever Boruto ran off to. He looked like he was watching a mildly interesting tv-show that he was somehow extremely invested in.

“See? Very entertaining.” Mitsuki said.


	2. We walk a plank on a sinking ship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a beach party! And a sleep-over! What more could you ask for?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY SO!! I wrote some more.... there's some swearing and a weed joke(said weed is consumed by an adult) in there that could be considered slightly inappropriate, i guess? but otherwise this is very harmless comedy fun
> 
> beta:d and ninja proof-checked by @reaperduckling

As a last ditch effort to actually enjoy summer instead of  just going on ninja missions all the time, Sarada suggested in the group chat that they’d go to the beach one afternoon. It went as follows:

 **Kagemasafan9000:** AW YISS i’m gonna kick your ass so hard at volleyball sarada!! mitsuki please be on my team i bet you’d be awesome at volleyball!!! u could just stretch your arms and cheat at it!

 **Mitsuki(?):** Sssadly no, I’d actually rather go herping. You both are welcome to come along though.

 **Kagemasafan9000:** oh god no why what’s that please just do something normal for once

 **Mitsuki(?):** It’sss when you go looking for reptilesss or amphibiansss in nature. The beach would probably have sssome interesssting fauna.

 **Sarada Uchiha:** I think I’d rather play volleyball, but you do you.

 **Kagemasafan9000:** YOUR A** IS GRASS

 **Kagemasafan9000:** i won’t actually swear tho bc ur a lady

 **Sarada Uchiha:** Charming….

So, to the beach they went. After utterly destroying Boruto at volleyball five consecutive times, Sarada decided to go at whatever Mitsuki was up to. She had to at least try to pretend to be interested in whatever he was into, right? She ended up finding him on a bunch of cliffs nearby. He had however not changed into a beach outfit at all, but was wearing his usual oversized traditional shirt and pants-combo, paired with a gigantic sun hat.

“Uh, hey! While that looks really, uh, fun, don’t you want to go help Boruto actually win at volleyball against me for once? You don’t _have to_ fifth-wheel us all the time, you know… We’re a team and you’re included too!” Sarada said determinedly. 

“I actually love fifth-wheeling you guys. It’s my preferred way of interaction. It keeps the dynamics more natural than if I’d interfere.” Mitsuki said while picking out a notebook from his fanny pack and writing something down.

“Yeah but… I still think that you’d have fun playing volleyball with us!” Sarada said, finally getting slightly annoyed.

Mitsuki finally turned to her.

“Fair enough, I’ll play. As Boruto said: Sarada, your ass is grass.”

Sarada still ended up beating the Boruto-Mitsuki team into the ground.

-*-

After Sarada had bested the guys at volleyball at least ten times more, Boruto’s stomach started growling. He ran (and fell in the sand a couple of times) towards where he had put his suspiciously spherical backpack, and pulled out a giant watermelon from inside.

“Oh yeah baby!!!” he screamed. But then also seemed to realize something. “Hey guys, did anyone of you bring your kunais? I forgot mine, so I can’t cut open my watermelon…” he said, pouting like a 5-year old.

Sarada decided to take matters into her own hands(or should she say fists?). She took the watermelon from Boruto and put it on a nearby picknick table. Then Sarada punched the watermelon once, masterfully breaking it into grab-able slices.

Impressed golf claps where heard from both Boruto and Mitsuki.

“Very impressive!” Mitsuki said.

“Oh yeah baby!!!” Boruto garbled while stuffing his face full of watermelon. Even Mitsuki took a slice of watermelon and ate it. It was a rousing success.

“Mitsuki, you know… I think this is the first time I’ve ever seen you eat anything. Usually you just stare at us until we finish our food.” Boruto said between chomping down on the pieces of watermelon shell that he was holding(“What? It’s full of fiber! I’m a growing boy!” Boruto said while looking pointedly at Sarada. Sarada decided to leave it).

“Yeah, I actually don’t need to eat, since I am genetically modified to be able to survive even in the harshest of conditions. But since I’m having such a nice time here with you guys, I decided to try some. ” Mitsuki said.

Boruto choked on his watermelon shell, but deflected it by trying to mask his cough as a laugh.

“Oh, you! You always say the silliest things!” Boruto coughed up while slapping his knee for extra flair.

Sarada, however, decided to bite.

“What do you mean, genetically modified?” she asked.

“Didn’t I tell you guys? That’s where the snake powers come from.” Mitsuki answered like that would explain _everything._

It didn’t.

-*-

 **Kagemasafan9000:** eeEEy guys have any plans for the weekend??

 **Sarada Uchiha:** We just went to the beach together, Boruto. I beat you at volleyball mulitple times.

 **Kagemasafan9000** : how i wish i could forget…..

 **Mitsuki(?):** Yesss, actually. I wasss wondering if you guysss wanted to go to my houssse and have a sssleepover? I’ve heard that thossse are normal tween experiencesss, and it sssounded fun. It’sss kind of far to my house though ssso we would have to take the train.

 **Kagemasafan9000:** SOUNDS BORING i’ll just marathon the four kagemasa movies in my room while eating popcorn alone then. like usual

 **Mitsuki(?):** Have you consssidered that you might have depresssion, Boruto?

 **Sarada Uchiha:** I’ll go! How bad can it be?

 **Mitsuki(?):** That’sss the ssspirit!

 **Kagemasafan9000:** enjoy ur loser sleepover then!! i’ll be here if you wanna énjôy some REAL cúltùrë

 _√seen by_ **Sarada Uchicha** _and_ **Mitsuki(?)**

-*-

“Uh, Mitsuki, when you said that you lived a bit from Konoha I didn’t imagine that we would have to walk straight into the woods for half an hour after taking the train…” Sarada said.

“Yeah, it _is_ a long commute. Hence why I don’t live there for the most part. But it’ll all be worth it when we get there. You’ll get to meet my family! I think that Log is out of town but my parent is on house arrest so they’ll be home for sure.”

“…House… arrest…?” Sarada felt not so sure about this anymore.

Soon, they had finally gotten out of the forest and arrived at a mountainside.

“There” Mitsuki pointed upwards to a…. cave?

“You live in a cave?” Sarada sputtered.

“Technically it’s a cave house, you’ll see the house part later on. This is the secret back entrance to slip by the Konoha security that are stationed at the front door.” Mitsuki explained.

As usual, it explained nothing.

-*-

Inside the cav-sorry, _cave house;_ there seemed to be only endless hallways with blue tiles everywhere. It all seemed kind of familiar to Sarada, who was beginning to have a suspicion….

Her suspicions were confirmed when she suddenly saw an adult of unclear age with long black hair at the end of the corridor.

“That’s my parent! Hey, I’m home!” Mitsuki said loudly.

The adult jumped with surprise, and turned around. It was…

“You!” Sarada shrieked.

“Oh, are you home, Mitsuki?” Orochimaru said. “I’ve told you that you _have to_ call first, I was just about to smoke some wee-I mean, nothing! Nothing at all! You’re always welcome here!” They punctuated their sentence by fake-laughing _way_ too loudly.

Sarada was starting to feel a dark pit with anxiety in her stomach. But before she could voice her concern however, Orochimaru turned to her.

“Oh, and you brought Girl-Sasuke with you! That’s fun, that’s great…” They started humming under their breath and made an effort to walk away slowly. But before they could get too far…

“Hey, my name isn’t “Girl-Sasuke”, it’s Sarada Uchiha! We have literally met!” Sarada protested.

“Oh yeah, I guess you hate me too? I will say that’s pretty deserved. Well, your father and I actually resolved things uh, a _while ago_ , but if you don’t like me that’s fair,” Orochimaru turned around and shrugged. “What are you doing here anyway?”

“We’re going to have a sleepover,” Mitsuki stepped in.

“Mitsuki, I’m not so sure about that. You didn’t tell me that your parent was Orochimaru!” Sarada said, crossing her arms in discomfort.

“Huh? I didn’t? I could’ve sworn I did….” Mitsuki said, seeming to sink into deep thought.

“Hey, nevermind me, I’ll stay out of your way. I think kids are supposed to have uh, whatever those are called again… _“friends_ ”?” Orochimaru said while making finger quotes.

“I’m sorry Sarada, I didn’t intentionally mislead you. However I should’ve thought about your family’s trouble with my parent before I brought you here. You’re free to leave.” Mitsuki said, sounding as genuinely regretful as he’d probably ever get.

“I don’t know… Maybe it won’t be _so bad_ after all. We will continue the sleepover. But you, stay away!” Sarada tried to point to Orochimaru, but they were already gone and nowhere to be found in the dimly-lit corridor.

-*-

When they finally arrived to Mitsuki’s room, Sarada had a lot of thoughts and feelings about his house decór choices. Namely, that they were terrible. The entire room was snake-themed, and most of the space was taken up by several giant terrariums. But Sarada decided to be nice and hold her tongue.

“Hey, watcha’ keeping in the terrariums?” Sarada asked.

“Snakes.”

“I guess that makes sense…” Sarada said with the sinking feeling in her chest that maybe this was going to be _that bad_ after all. However, she still put down her sleepover gear on the floor. Mitsuki was her _friend_ and she was going to _power through it_.

 “So, what do you want to do? All my interests are centered around snakes, but I guess you’d probably want to do something else,” Mitsuki said, seeming to at least somewhat pick up on how distressed Sarada was starting to feel.

“Uh… Yeah…. Maybe we could watch a movie or something?” Sarada said, grateful for the question.

Mitsuki turned to his bookcase and looked at the DVDs he had.

“I have ‘ _Ninja Snakes on a Plane’,_ ‘ _Ninja Snakes on a Plane 2’_ … Hm, no, I don’t think you’d like these… Maybe we could borrow Suigetsu’s computer and stream something from Ninjaflix?” Mitsuki suggested.

“Uh, sure, but I’m not sure if I want to talk to him… He screwed up analyzing my parental DNA test and kind of really complicated my relationship with my Mom.” Sarada said, cringing at the awful, awful memories.

“Yeah, he kind of sucks sometimes. But on the flip side, he’s pretty funny. I’ll go ask him. You can stay here if you don’t want to talk to him.” Mitsuki said, and left the room.

Sarada sat down on the (probably vegan) snakeskin couch. Well, if they would be able to watch a nice non-snake movie, maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all.

Soon enough she heard footsteps approaching, and as the door opened again she heard a man talking.

“Ey what’s up, Mitsuki’s friend! I heard you didn’t like snakes, so here you have a bunch of non-snake-related movies! You know, I need something to keep me sane too.” The man came into view and it of course turned out to be the Suigetsu guy. Great.

“Oh! It’s you, Sarada!” Suigetsu said. “Now I understand why Mitsuki said you didn’t want to talk to me. I guess I done screwed up real bad with that DNA test, huh?”

“Yup.” Sarada said, annoyed.

“Huh. Well… I’m just gonna drop this laptop and these DVDs here, pretend I was never here ok?”

“He’s not going to buy that, how else would your stuff be here?”

But Suigetsu had already ran out of the door and Sarada faintly heard him shouting “Never here!” from the outside corridor.

A few minutes later Mitsuki came back with a pack of potato chips. A very peculiar brand of potato chips…

“Hey, isn’t that the same brand of potato chips that Cho Cho eats?” Sarada asked.

“Yes. It is however not the exact same bag that she gave me, my parent ate that one. They’re pretty good, but not really my taste. I figured you would like them. Now pick a movie.”

Sarada looked through the stack of DVD:s. They were all… rom-coms?

“ _‘Love, Believe it Actually’... ‘How to Lose a Ninja Assassin Guy in 10 Days…_ ’ _Honey, I Shrunk the Kids by Getting Ninja Cursed’…_ Mitsuki, I’m not sure if these sound all that much better. But _maybe_ this one?” Sarada picked up a DVD titled _’10 Things I Ninja-Curse-Hate About You’_ and started up the laptop.

They were pretty much immediately met with a log-in page.

“Suigetsu didn’t tell you the log-in info when he evidently dropped these off earlier?” Mitsuki asked.

Sarada shook her head.

Mitsuki started typing a bunch of passwords seemingly at random, and after three tries he succeeded. Suigetsu’s background image that appeared was a fluffy cat wearing a lab coat with the text “Bring Me The Results Right Miaow!” underneath.

“What was the password?” Sarada said while giggling a bit.

“ _’I-need-a-raise’._ He’s predictable that way.”

Sarada popped the DVD into the computer, and the movie started playing. It had a very… interesting… depiction of ninja clans, to say the least.

“Hey, I mean… the Uchiha clan has a _really_ morbid and bloody history and all, but I’m not sure that even _we_ have ever had problems with a feuding clan cursing us with attack-termites that eat our houses… I’m not sure this is a very accurate depiction of ninja lifestyle,” Sarada nitpicked.

“Yeah, I guess I can see that. But they really nailed the weird manipulation and deceit aspect of ninja parenting, in my experience.” Mitsuki countered.

“Huh? _In your experience_? Do you mean, like, you’ve experienced that?”

“Yeah, my training involved my parent erasing my memory a bunch of times. Apparently, it changed my personality drastically but I guess what’s done is done. We’ve sorted it out later on. I think a lot of people have it worse, honestly.”

Sarada utterly didn’t know what to say. But she guessed that saying something was better than saying nothing.

“That’s rough, buddy,” Sarada said and patted Mitsuki’s knee.

They sat through the rest of the movie in a comfortable silence that was only interrupted by the crunch of potato chips being eaten.

-*-

When the movie credits had started rolling, Sarada’s phone buzzed.

 **Kagemasafan9000** : ey…. i’ve been a fool…. got room for one more in your movie night thingy…

 **Mitsuki(?):** Yesss. However my houssse is out in the wildernesss by the Hidden Sssound village, so it’sss kind of far. But you are of courssse welcome. Ssssince it’sss not very late you’d probably be able to make it before dark.

 **Kagemasafan9000:** aw yeeeaa babey!! get ready for a kagemasa marathon!!

 **Sarada Uchiha:** Bring more potato chips! We’re running out.

 **Kagemasafan9000:** sure thing!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave me kudos and comments if you like this....


	3. There's a world outside of my front door

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The continuation of the sleepover, and a house party! It's gonna be amazeballs!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh so the show actually has a pretty interesting plotline rn as of writing this(24/9-18 or episode 70-something) but i'm going to completely IGNORE that until that storyline has finished up. so that's why a lot of stuff in this fanfic isn't canon compliant.... i'm just... ignoring canon. gr8 writing i tell u
> 
> beta read and ninja fact proof'd by @reaperduckling

Sure enough, Boruto really did show up at the sleepover. He announced his arrival by bursting dramatically into Mitsuki’s room without warning, making Sarada jump with surprise.

“Hey guys! Mitsuki’s… uh, parent let me in! They stared at me a lot and it made me feel _kind of_ weird but at least I’m here now! Let’s watch some quality content!” Boruto boasted and smacked his premium Kagemasa DVD collection on the couch table.

“Did you bring snacks?” Sarada asked.

Boruto answered by turning his backpack inside-out and shaking out at least five bags of chips.

“I’m not sure we can eat all of those, but if we have any leftovers we could just give them to my family. Thanks for your contribution, Boruto.” Mitsuki said.

“Uh yeah, about that… Mitsuki, is your parent your mother or your father? I don’t want to be rude but I kind of, uh, couldn’t tell….” Boruto asked, finally addressing the elephant in the room Sarada had indeed also _kind of_ been thinking about as well.

“Why don’t you ask them?” Mitsuki simply responded.

“Uh, I don’t need to know that badly…” Boruto said sheepishly, “Let’s just start watching Kagemasa from the beginning!”

-*-

Sarada must’ve fallen asleep halfway through, because suddenly the movie seemed to be over. Boruto got up from the couch, and started pacing around the room.

“So, what did you think of the first three movies? “ He said.

“I didn’t understand them at all.” Mitsuki said.

“I, uh, fell asleep when we were still watching the first one…” Sarada said.

Boruto’s facial expressions started rapidly cycling through the five stages of grief. Finally, he seemed to arrive at acceptance.

“Well, we still have the fourth and last movie left! It’s the best, I promise!” Boruto said.

“No, no no! Guys, I really just want to go to sleep now!” Sarada said, interrupting what sounded like a “Sure” from Mitsuki.

“Huh… I mean, oh well, we can just watch the last movie tomorrow!” Boruto assured them (but probably mostly himself) and started packing up his sleeping bag from his second bag(a sport bag) by throwing his stuff around him in a big mess.

Sarada crossed her arms in protest(both to the promise of more Kagemasa tomorrow, and to the messy unpacking), but Mitsuki just shrugged at her.

 _“Just let him have this.”_ He whispered.

-*-

When the lights were turned off and it was time to sleep, somebody broke the silence. Of course it was Boruto.

“Hey, what if lizards didn’t have any legs? Would that be really weird or what?”

“Those animals exist, they’re called snakes…” Sarada said while facepalming, even though it was too dark for anyone to see her do it. “You have Mr. Snake on your team, how did you forget this information?”

“I didn’t forget it! I’m just... really tired.” Boruto droned sleepily.

“There actually are lizards without legs that are separate from snakes, so you’re not entirely wrong.” Mitsuki said from the couch. It sounded like he was stifling a chuckle.

“Huh! I knew it, I’m a genius.” Boruto said.

“Yes, definitely. There’s a NinjaTube video detailing the differences, but we need to sleep. So maybe tomorrow.” Mitsuki said.

There was a long silence.

“Can I ask you something? Are you actually a like… regular person? I know Orochimaru has a lab where they conducted human experiments, you’re not like… some sort of weird lab-creature are you?” Sarada asked, laughing a little bit to diffuse the tension she felt.

“…Haven’t I already told you that? I’m literally a clone, so of course I was created in a lab, what did you think?”

Sarada didn’t know what she had thought, honestly. But maybe that… sort of explained a lot.

“Hm. Well… I guess that makes sense. When you first started in our class at the Ninja Academy, you were acting so far removed from reality that I didn’t know what to think of you at first. But you’re actually kind of cool, Mitsuki.” Boruto said, saying exactly what Sarada had been thinking.

There was a long silence again, but then Mitsuki spoke up.

”Yeah, trying to break Iwabe’s neck during sparring probably made a really bad first impression. I guess I was so violent at first because honestly, since I’m a clone, there’s tons of replacements of me. I didn’t really think that my life was that valuable in the grand scheme of things, and I assumed that everybody else felt the same way about their own.

In hindsight I should’ve probably asked someone outside of this cave-house about that, because as you can tell my family and the people who work for us are all… slightly biased in that regard. I think I’ve learned a lot more, uh, _people skills_ after coming to Konoha. Like that other people usually see a reason for living. And I do too now.”

“What is going on tonight? Mitsuki, you never talk about your feelings with us! But that’s great that you feel that way though! Being alive is... good!” Boruto said, eloquently as ever. He was probably even doing a thumbs up in the dark.

“Yeah, you’re really opening up! We should have a group hug tomorrow. But first we should sleep.” Sarada yawned, mostly to cover up her voice shaking a little bit.

-*-

All and all, Team 7 was doing great. They were completing mission after mission, bonding with each other, making fun of Boruto both behind and in front of his back. What more could you ask for?

-*-

“A party?” Sarada said, picking up the flyer Cho Cho had given her.

“Yeah! It’s gonna be amazeballs! Invite the guys from your Team too, I want as many people as possible to come!” Cho Cho said excitedly.

-*-

The fateful night (/early afternoon) of the party was upon them. When they arrived to Cho Cho’s house, Cho Cho greeted them at the door. She also had some news (Sarada didn’t really know if they were good or bad).

“Sadly, we aren’t allowed to play spin the bottle. My mom said no, she said that she would ground me for real if we played it.” Cho Cho said.

“Nooo-I mean, aw yeah! That’s exactly what I wanted! Never in my life have I thought about kissing somebody, especially not a girl! Ew, that would be _so_ gross!” Boruto said all very quickly, like his dignity depended on it.

“Nice save.” Sarada snarked. Boruto just looked at her awkwardly and quickly made his way towards the snack bar and started digging in on a bowl of cheese puffs.

“I think he was lying about that,” Mitsuki said.

After a short while, Cho Cho stood up on a table and announced that she would now be taking requests for makeovers.

“Hey, don’t you guys want to see Sarada get a makeover?” Cho Cho yelled over the crowd.

Boruto seemed to have picked up at that, and started elbowing his way from the snack bar towards Cho Cho’s table.

“Makeover? _I_ want a makeover!”

“Uh…”

“I know, it’s impossible to improve perfection, but I still want you to try!”

“Uuuuh…”

Cho Cho still seemed very hesitant, but Boruto started banging his fist on the table and began chanting “Beautiful! Beautiful! Beautiful!”

“Just do what he wants, it’s the easiest that way!” Sarada said, trying to be heard even though Boruto was yelling over the top of his lungs.

Cho Cho shrugged, and she and Boruto went into her room. A moment later on, Boruto dramatically burst out the door, looking exactly the same but for a sparkly feather boa. Cho Cho followed, looking like she now regretted inviting him at all.

Nonetheless, Boruto ran up to Sarada and twirled around.

“What do you think?” He said.

“ _Sparkly_.”

“Yeah, you wish you looked this good!” Boruto said while doing another twirl.

The loose end of his feather boa spun around too and hit Mitsuki(who had apparently been quietly standing still in the exact same spot during the entire makeover) in the face.

“Boruto, why are you like this?” Sarada pleaded.

Mitsuki made a weird noise, like he was choking.  Sarada feared the worst (honestly, you never knew how he’d react to anything), but the choking noise turned out to just be an interlude to Mitsuki giggle-snorting really loudly.

“See! He thinks I’m hilarious! Nothing to worry about! Don’t squash my spirit, _Sarada_!” Boruto said defensively, but then he seemed to realize something. “Wait. Mitsuki, are you actually sort-of laughing? You never do that!” He continued.

“What? I think everything you do is really funny, was it not obvious that I thought that?” Mitsuki said after collecting himself after said giggling fit.

“Uh, I mean, I thought you just always sort of tagged along because you had nothing else to do…” Boruto said sheepishly.

“Well yes, that’s also true, but it’s also because you’re hilarious.”

“What I am then, just furniture sitting around?” Sarada snarked.

“You’re great for keeping the team sane,” Mitsuki said. After a pause, he continued with:

“And also great on your own! You actually function as your own unit. Boruto is too easily distracted and I have basically no moral compass so neither of us can really work independently. _You_ can though!”

“Nice save,” Sarada chuckled, more affectionately than sarcastically this time around.

“Dude! I’m not easily distracted!” Boruto said, quite offended.

“Hey, are the cheese puffs getting re-filled in the snack bar?” Sarada teased while trying to keep a straight face. It was quite hard.

“Only one way to find out!” Boruto said and swooshed around dramatically, feather boa flying around everywhere.

-*-

After a couple of hours of partying(the highlights were Cho Cho and Boruto having a cheese puff eating contest, and everyone dancing to _Ninja Kidz Bop_ ), Sarada felt like she needed some fresh air. She walked down the stairs, waved awkwardly at Cho Cho’s parents who were chaperone-sitting around in the living room, and stepped out to the yard. It was kind of dark and cold outside, so she regretted her decision immediately. Just as she was about to walk inside again, a voice spoke up.

“Oh, are you taking a break too?” Mitsuki said from where he was sitting on the ground next to a very tacky garden gnome.

“Uh, yeah! Didn’t see you there.” Sarada said awkwardly.

“Since I have genetically engineered hearing, really loud social situations get a bit much sometimes. Or wait… You don’t like it when I over-explain things, right?”

“No, no, it’s fine!” Sarada reassured him, and sat down on the ground too.

There was a silence while Sarada tried to articulate what she was feeling.

“You know… I know that sometimes Boruto and I don’t really listen to you trying to tell us about… stuff… But I really appreciate that you do now! I think a lot of confusion could’ve been avoided if we’d just done this at the beginning.” She said.

“Yeah, I guess. But it doesn’t matter now. So there’s no use feeling bad about it in retrospect,” Mitsuki said.

Sarada laughed.

“Yeah, _I guess_. I’m just happy that we’re friends now. Fist bump?” Sarada suggested, mostly to keep the conversation from turning too mushy. She held up her fist, but Mitsuki just stared at her like he didn’t know what to do with it.

“You… bump fists…” Sarada explained.

Mitsuki bumped her fist slowly.

“Yeah, I know. Boruto wants to fist bump me at least three times a day. I was just joking.”

“Sure…” Sarada said, not entirely convinced.

Suddenly, her phone buzzed.

 **Kagemasafan9000:** guis where are you I ate too many cheese puffs I need to lie down and i don’t know where you are…. Please bring me some waterrr

 **Sarada Uchiha:** ….Why are you like this

 **Mitsuki(?):** What Sssarada meant to sssay isss that we’ll be right there.

“Dude, we don’t have to babysit Boruto all the time.” Sarada said as Mitsuki was getting up from the ground.

He offered Sarada his hand to help her up in response.

“Well, I think that being friends with Boruto means babysitting him sometimes. A lot of other times, he is more of the Su- _uh,_ I mean, _inspiration_. An accidental life coach, if you will. It’s a give and take, and I think it’s worth sticking around for that. Are you coming back in, or what?”

Sarada chuckled again, grabbed Mitsuki's hand and got up from the ground with his help. Not that Sarada actually needed the boost, but she appreciated that he was trying to be polite.

“Yeah, let’s go inside.” She said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if u like dis please consider giving a kudos or leaving a review comment,,,,


	4. Intermission: Learn to pity fools

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm writing more of this so this is a lil bit of an intermission chapter, but next chapter will be a long(er) one!

As Sarada thought, Boruto had left behind him a telltale trail of cheese puff crumbs and could be found crawled up on a couch in a dark corner in a room adjacent to the main party room.

“Where were you guys? I almost _died_!” Boruto complained.

“ _What,_ did you _choke_ on a _cheese puff_? Quit being a drama queen,” Sarada scoffed while giving Boruto a glass of water.

Boruto took a sip while trying to respond with a snappy comeback at the same time, and spilled a little on the front of his tracksuit jacket, like a c _omplete human disaster._

“Actually, I _did_ choke on a cheese puff!” He said triumphantly while Mitsuki dabbed at the wet spot on Boruto's jacket with a paper towel.

“Did you learn anything from this experience?” Mitsuki asked.

“ _No_. And I _never_ will!” Boruto boasted while trying to stand up. It didn’t go very well, so Sarada and Mitsuki both came to the rescue and helped him up.

They all somehow simultaneously shuffled all the way to Boruto’s house to drop him off. After leaving Boruto in the concerned arms of his mom, Sarada decided to call it a night and to go straight home. She was just about to say goodbye to Mitsuki when she realized something _awful_.

“Babysitting Boruto is going to get _so much worse_ when we are old enough to legally drink alcohol, isn’t it?” She said.

Mitsuki just stared at her for a very long and awkward minute, like Sarada’s horrible realization had uncovered something _awful_ he hadn’t even _considered_ before.

“Uh. _Yeah_ … Well, I _guess_ that means we’ll have to be his friends forever then?” He said, shrugging.

Come to think of it, Sarada could actually think of _way_ worse things to be stuck with.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are much appreciated!


	5. A fortune for your disaster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's coming up p-P-pranking(!!!) time in Konoha! Now starring Kawaki as a side character!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter introduces KAWAKI into the story! Idk if he's gonna play that big of a part yet but uh yeah HUGE spoiler warning for the latest(as of writing this 8/1-19) chapters of the manga where Kawaki first appears. maybe not read this if you're not up to date to the manga and care about spoilers
> 
> also most of this was inspired by the single joke page of the manga where kawaki gets pranked into eating taiyaki with wasabi in it. it was very funny
> 
> slight content warning for kawaki's potty mouth and underage smoking(brief mention)
> 
> shoutout to @reaperduckling for brainstorming this chapter with me and beta reading it.
> 
> edit 18/1-19: i added two new scenes to this chapter to make it feel more complete.

“My two _only_ friends and teammates…. I have gathered you here at the fine dining establishment _Thunder Burger_ for a reason. I have decided to _prank_ Shikadai.” Boruto said solemnly, spreading his hands out in a dramatic gesture only to bang one of them on the window by their seats.

“Pranking Shikadai? That sounds mean. Also, how would you even do it? He’s _way_ smarter than you.” Sarada teased.

“ _I know_ he’s smarter than me, that’s why I need your help! With our powers combined…” Boruto insisted while banging his fists on the table.

“Pranking him? Like playing a trick on him?” Mitsuki asked, like he was _slightly_ , maybe even _vaguely_ interested.

“Yeah, like maybe… tricking him into eating a Taiyaki waffle with wasabi in it! But like, _way_ better and funnier than that!” Boruto explained badly.

“I have various kinds of snake poison at my disposal, is that prank-appropriate?” Mitsuki said. It was completely _impossible_ to tell if he was joking or not, so Sarada took no chances.

“No, absolutely _no_ snake poisoning! Also, Boruto, why do you even want to prank Shikadai? Aren’t you guys friends?” Sarada said.

Boruto took a deep breath, and explained his side of the story:

 _“Well,_ your _idea to prank Kawaki failed spectacularly, he just ended up_ liking _the wasabi Taiyaki. What a drag. I’m out!” Shikadai said while turning around to walk away._

_“Can’t we still hang out though?” Boruto said, desperately hoping to spend more time with his good friend._

_Then he realized that a) Shikadai was ignoring him and just straight up walking away from him, and b) he had just implied that_ Boruto _had come up with their failed prank when it had been in fact Shikadai’s idea from the beginning. That was_ totally _not_ bro code _compliant. Boruto scoffed and decided to ignore Shikadai for at least a few minutes for uncool behavior. Or maybe, he could even give Shikadai a taste of his_ own _medicine…_

“Boruto, you’re overreacting to the extreme,” Sarada said, cutting Boruto down with kunai sharp-words. “Also, you _shouldn’t_ be pranking _Kawaki_ of all people! From what I’ve gathered, he seems extremely emotionally unstable. If he had taken offense to your ‘prank’ he might have started a fight or something!”

“It was _Shikadai’s_ idea from the beginning! Weren’t you _listening_?” Boruto said exasperatedly and throwing his hands out. He banged one on the nearby window again and winced.

“While watching you two squabble is extremely entertaining, I think we’re going to get kicked out again for being too loud if you don't quit it soon," Mitsuki said.

Sarada covered her face with her hands in embarrassment.

“Why are you like this, Boruto?” She whispered.

“Well, you were talking loudly too, Sarada! … _Uh,_ I mean, oh no! H-How do you figure, Mitsuki?” Boruto said while quickly lowering his voice and looking around hurriedly in guilt-induced paranoia.

 “I don’t, the staff members I can see from here show no signs of being more annoyed at us than usual. I simply tricked you. It was a _prank_ and a masterfully executed one at that.” Mitsuki said with absolutely no inflection in his voice to help discern his intentions.

“Was that supposed to be a joke?” Boruto quipped.

“Yes,” Mitsuki said.

“It wasn’t very good,” Boruto said sourly, crossing his arms defensively.

Mitsuki didn’t answer him, but he turned his head to stare out of the window instead of staring at Boruto like usual. Sarada had no idea what had just happened, but didn’t think much of it at first.

-*-

Boruto seemed to pretty much immediately drop his “pranking Shikadai”-plot and the conversation soon returned to normal with Sarada and Boruto making light jabs at each other and Mitsuki silently staring at them like he was in class and attending an important lecture. But as soon as Boruto had gotten out of his seat to go the bathroom, Mitsuki fixed Sarada with a _look_ and conspiratorially leaned in towards her.

“Do you want to prank Boruto together?” Mitsuki whispered.

Sarada squinted at him like that would make his question make more sense.

“ _No_ ,” She answered.

“Hm, that’s really surprising. You’re usually so mean to him that I figured you would want to.”

Sarada took her glasses off and polished them with the collar of her shirt, and then put them on again. Mitsuki’s words still didn’t make sense, even after that.

“Uh, why would you even _want_ to prank Boruto? I thought you worshipped the ground he ninja runs on,” Sarada said.

“Well, originally, before moving to Konoha, I was actually socially conditioned by my parent into forming a very intense one-sided bond to Boruto. Since then that bond has gotten extremely confusing and complicated so I figured I’d mix up the blind hero worship with some _‘friendly joshing’_.” Mitsuki said, doing finger quotes for the last part.

“ _Uh_... That was _a lot_ of new information at once. But wait, was that what you meant at the sleepover when you said that your parent _manipulated_ yo-“

“Never mind all that, it’s in the past. Now, _I suggest_ that we prank Boruto in a way that’s even more hilarious than my prank on you guys just now. It will surely prove to Boruto that I have a _great_ sense of humor.” Mitsuki said.

Sarada sighed deeply. Well, if it would make Mitsuki happy she guessed that she could go along with it. It sounded harmless enough unless Mitsuki really wasn’t joking about the snake poison.

“Ok, so what kind of prank do you _suggest_?” She said.

“I think we should try to get Kawaki to join forces with us for a more powerful prank. From what I’ve gathered from Boruto, Kawaki already dislikes Boruto. Also, he’ll be getting revenge for Boruto trying to prank him. He’ll be perfect!”

“Wait, _Kawaki_? I’ve met him since he started living at Boruto’s house, and he’s actually just as difficult to deal with as the first time we met him. He probably won’t do as you say.”

“I am a master of manipulation. I will have him wrapped around my little finger in an _instant.”_ Mitsuki said confidently.

-*-

”Hey, uh… Sarada, was it? Who’s this other punk ass _clown_ who apparently wants to talk to me?” Kawaki scoffed.

“I’m Mitsuki, we met on the battlefield where we rescued you from an evil organization," Mitsuki said, not even missing a beat and speaking in a perfect monotone. Sarada was a little bit impressed by this.

“I don’t remember you at all,” Kawaki said while nonchalantly slouching against a nearby tree in the forest clearing they had decided to meet up in.

“I want to join forces to prank Boruto. Pranking someone means tricking someone in a funny way,” Mitsuki said.

“Like you having him in a chokehold with your _freaky_ noodle arm ninja shit while I punch his face?” Kawaki grinned.

“So you _do_ remember me. And well, no. I know from personal experience that this is hard to understand when you’ve been raised by people who are on a slippery slope of morally _ambiguous_ to morally _disgusting_ , but beating people up isn’t a bonding activity. Also, you just left Sarada out completely, which _beats_ the purpose of bonding altogether,” Mitsuki said. Something about his demeanor made Sarada think that he was having the time of his life, which she guessed explained his calm behavior in the face of, uh, _Kawaki in_ _general_.

“I-I know that! You don’t have to explain things to me like I’m a baby! I’m not _twelve_ , ok! Geez!” Kawaki sputtered while blushing furiously.

Sarada decided to step in at last, as this situation felt like it could escalate violently at any moment.

“If you help us with this, we’ll buy you as many Taiyaki you could possibly want. How does that sound?” She said.

“Oh wow, _really_? I love that stuff! I- _I mean_ , uh, I _guess_ I’ll help you. _Whatever._ Don’t flatter yourself,” Kawaki said while averting his gaze by looking down, hands in his pockets and kicking at a nearby rock.

Sarada decided that maybe _she_ was the _“master of manipulation”_ around here. Mitsuki quickly looked at her for a moment like he had just had the exact same thought and gave her a subtle nod of appreciation.

"Let me explain my plan," Mitsuki said, eyes flashing.

-*-

Together they all stealthily snuck into Boruto’s house again.

“Kawaki, you go get Boruto and lure him here. Sarada and I will sit here behind the couch until he comes into the living room.” Mitsuki said.

Kawaki nodded and walked up the stairs. A few minutes later, Sarada heard two sets of footsteps coming closer.

“Oh boy, I just _can’t wait_ to see those two squirrels fighting!” Boruto’s voice said, and suddenly his face appeared around the corner, just as planned.

Mitsuki made the fifty snakes he had planted in the curtain rods to pull up a colorful banner. Sarada used tiny fireballs to light candles. Kawaki pulled some glittery confetti out of his pocket and started throwing it at Boruto.

“Surprise! Happy _Best Friend’s Day_!” Sarada and Mitsuki shouted in unison while jumping out from behind the couch.

Boruto looked like he had won the _best_ prize at the world’s _weirdest_ lottery. Which he kind of had.

“Wha- _What_ , you guys, I didn’t know it was Best Friend’s Day today!” He said.

“Well, it _definitely_ is! Here’s your present!” Mitsuki said, giving Boruto a giftwrapped box.

Boruto excitedly tore into the package much like a bear digging into a trashcan. He got it open, and pulled out-

“A card? It says _‘Thank you for being a wonderful friend. Much love from your friends and Kawaki’_. Aw, you guys!” Boruto said, choking back tears and pulling them all into a group hug.

“Wait, what part of this is a prank? This isn’t funny, it’s just mushy.” Kawaki said sourly but for _some reason_ still tolerating the group hug.

Mitsuki dramatically stepped out of the group hug and snapped his fingers. The snake-powered banner by the curtain switched from _“Happy Best Friend’s Day”_ to another banner reading _“You Just Got Pranked!”_

“Wa-Wait, did I just get _pranked_?” Boruto said incredulously.

“Yes! Best Friend’s Day isn’t a thing, I simply made it up!” Mitsuki said triumphantly.

“Did you l _ie_ on this card?” Boruto said while shaking said card in the air.

“No, all that’s written there is true. We really appreciate you!” Sarada said before there would be an inevitable misunderstanding.

“Aw, _you guys_ …” Boruto sniffled into his sleeve, covering his face with his hands to hide his very obvious crying of happiness.

“Wait, why did you ask me to come then? All I did was throw around this crap _.”_ Kawaki asked, waving around a fistful of confetti in the air.

“So you could learn the lesson of appreciating Boruto. I thought that conclusion was kind of a no-brainer, actually.” Mitsuki said.

Kawaki gave them all an angry look and loudly stormed up the stairs to where his room probably was. From all the swearing it sounded like he had hit his feet on the steps several times in pure teenage rage.

"Well, as I said, he's kind of hard to deal with…" Sarada winced.

“We still owe him so much Taiyaki. He’ll _probably_ come around.” Mitsuki said decisively.

-*-

The following day, Sarada and her team went into town and bought as much taiyaki as they could carry.

“Tell me again why we’re getting this much taiyaki for _Kawaki_ of all people? He’s so rude and ungrateful and won’t appreciate them like some _other_ people I know would!” Boruto said, turning what Sarada assumed was a sly eye on the takeout bag he was carrying.

“Well, we promised him, didn’t we?” Sarada said.

“I’m just gonna take a little… uh, _detour_. I’ll catch up with you guys later at my house, ok?” Boruto smirked.

“I’m either coming along on your _detour_ or you’re not bringing the taiyaki with you. I know you’re just planning on eating it.”  Sarada said.

“Wh-why would you accuse me of such a thing! If I actually ate the taiyaki like you _think_ I will, how could I possibly think that I’d get away with it? I’m not _that_ dumb, you know!” Boruto said defensively.

“I think you’d blame it on being attacked by hungry feral dogs. It seems like something you’d make up, based on previous experiences,” Mitsuki finally spoke up.

Boruto slowly turned his head towards Mitsuki with a facial expression that looked so honestly and utterly _offended_ that Sarada could do nothing but to start laughing at him. Boruto then swiftly tripped on his feet and fell on the ground, which was _even_ funnier (if possible).

“Stop laughing, Sarada! Look what you made me do, now I spilled all of the taiyaki I was carrying on the ground! Kawaki is finally going to kill me in my sleep!” Boruto shouted, red hot in the face and dusting himself off furiously while standing in a pile of broken bits of waffle.

“What Kawaki doesn’t know doesn’t hurt him. Maybe an animal, maybe even a hungry _feral dog_ will eat it. Now let’s get to Boruto’s house before Sarada pees herself laughing,” Mitsuki said.

-*-

Sarada was still wiping away tears when they finally arrived at Boruto’s house. However, Boruto and Mitsuki had gotten into a bit of an argument.

“- Mitsuki, I have already apologized a million times for lying about the _one time_ I accidentally lost your package with the designer snake sweaters your parent sent you for your birthda- _I mean_ ,  ‘ _lab tube emergence anniversary day_ ’ and then _sort of_ made up that I was attacked by a dog pack to excuse myself. I mean, that was pretty mean of me but you don’t _have to_ remind me all the time! Also, like I keep telling you: regular socks would work just as great for them! They’re snakes, they don’t care!” Boruto said, waving his hands in the air for extra oomph.

“Yeah, if you don’t care about snakes wearing _ridiculously_ oversized tubes of fabric,” Mitsuki responded.

“Yes, exactly! _No one_ cares about snake clothes sizing! Aw, don’t look at me like _that_ … Ok, I will literally sew new _custom_ sweaters for your snakes out of socks with my _own two hands_ if it makes you forgive me,” Boruto pleaded.

“You will? Well, I’d very much like that. Handmade ones would probably be _even better_ than the Amasoon ones on the condition that you custom sew them,” Mitsuki said.

Sarada thought it was safe to say that their debacle was over by this point, and tried to change the subject.

“Hey, Boruto, do you even know if Kawaki is home?” She asked.

Boruto shrugged, but another voice responded from behind the storage shed in Boruto’s yard.

“Are you assholes looking for me?”

Shock and awe, it was none other than Kawaki, who was holding a lit cigarette. He must have been secretly smoking behind the shed. The nerve! Sarada could already feel a migraine coming on.

“Yes!” Mitsuki said. “We got you the taiyaki we promised you.”

“Sweet! That makes me really happ- _I_ mean, _whatever_. I don’t care about _anything_.” Kawaki said, taking a long drag of his cigarette and then spiraling into a coughing fit.

“You really shouldn’t smoke,” Sarada said.

“Actually, you _asshole_ , I _don’t_ smoke! This is the first cigarette I’ve ever tried! It’s _awful_! I don’t get why people smoke these,” Kawaki spat between coughing his lungs out.

“Indeed. Such are the mysteries of life,” Mitsuki said wisely.

Kawaki took their two bags of takeout taiyaki and sourly muttered something inaudible under his breath.

“What?” Sarada asked.

“I said thank you! Don’t get mushy with me,” Kawaki said and dramatically flounced into the house (and presumably up to his room to eat the taiyaki in solitude with only his teenage angst to keep him company).

“As interactions with Kawaki go, this one wasn’t too bad!” Boruto said.

Sarada guessed that that was _probably_ accurate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos and comments are much appreciated! :D


	6. They say that quitters never win

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Boruto has a surprise for Sarada and Mitsuki! Deep emotional conversations ensue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello.... i upd8ed..... again..... i cannot be stopped
> 
> beta read and ninja and snake proofchecked by @reaperduckling

**Kagemasafan9000:** ey

 **Kagemasafan9000:** u guise

 **Sarada Uchiha:** What is it, Boruto?

 **Kagemasafan9000:** i have the greatest news…. u won’t believeee

 **Mitsuki(?):** I won’t believe you? I have already decided a long time ago that I trussst you completely.

 **Kagemasafan9000:** well that’s very nice mitsuki. thank you, u are the best bro a simple boruto such as myself could possibly have but the news is really UNBELIEVEABLy good and you really WON’t BELIEVE

 **Sarada Uchiha:** Well don’t keep us hanging, tell us what it is?

 **Kagemasafan9000:** it’s too good to tell you over the internet, you have to come to my house so i can tell you in person

 **Sarada Uchiha:** Ok. This better not be something dumb.

 **Kagemasafan9000:** me, doing something dumb? never in my life! u insult me!

-*-

When Sarada and Mitsuki soon after arrived at Boruto’s house, Boruto opened the door with the dramatic and exaggerated body language of a silent movie actress. He wordlessly led them up the stairs to his room, and with great flair ripped a dark sheet of fabric off his desk. Revealed on his desk stood a medium-sized aquarium tank filled not with water but with a thick bottom layer of shredded paper.

“It’s my _new hamster_! I named her Mr. Sasuke!” Boruto boasted triumphantly while making wild pointy hand gestures towards all the fancy hamster cage furnishing as if it was a bragging point.

“Why did you name her after _my Dad_?” Sarada asked while desperately trying to keep a straight face and fighting off the major case of the giggles she felt coming on.

Mitsuki, on the other hand, seemed to have no such reservations and was already peering over the edge of the hamster excitedly looking for a glimpse of this Mr. Hamster Sasuke.

“That’s _very_ interesting. You probably remember that I keep snake terrariums at my parent’s place. I imagine that rodents are very different though,” Mitsuki said while nodding wisely.

“Uh… Yeah, _I_ _guess_! She’s mostly for Himawari though! We just keep her in my room bc it’s the least busy room in the house since I am almost always busy with Team 7 ninja missions during the days!” Boruto said.

“With all of your yelling right now, I have trouble believing that,” Sarada teased. “Where is she? I want to meet my father’s new namesake!”

“She’s probably fast asleep buried in the bedding right now. We should let her rest. She’s actually only really active during the night! Sorry about that,” Boruto said apologetically.

“Yes, hamsters are nocturnal. So are a lot of my snakes at home. They keep waxing poetic about the warm rocks in their terrariums and it’s all _extremely_ interesting so I often stay up all night talking to them whenever I visit my parent,” Mitsuki said, nodding.

“Aw, I _wish_ I could talk to Mr. Sasuke. We’ve only had her for a day or two but I already love her more than life itself,” Boruto said while waving to signal them to leave the room with him(probably to give Mr. Hamster Sasuke an opportunity to get her well-needed beauty sleep).

“Well, I really like her too. Even if I’ll just have to _imagine_ for now what she looks like,” Sarada smiled while stepping out of the room.

Boruto made a big show of gently closing the door behind them but then immediately spoke up way-too-loudly-for-regular-human-ears again.

“So uh, since you’re already here… Should we play some Ninja Bout?” he suggested.

“Sounds fun. I have learned everything there is to know about the card game from listening to you talk about it and then reading up on it on the official Ninja Bout fan website, but I haven’t actually played it even once,” Mitsuki said.

“What! Well, then this time will be your first!” Boruto announced and then turned pleading puppy-dog-eyes on Sarada. It didn’t help that Mitsuki was _also_ almost _unnervingl_ y intensely staring at her while mouthing the words “ _just let him have this_ ”.

Sarada shrugged. While she wasn’t particularly interested it probably wouldn’t hurt to try it, right?

-*-

“I place my Blue Eyes White-Haired Ninja in attack mode. I attack Mitsuki’s Dark Magician Ninja Girl with all of my strength and completely obliterate his Ninja Army and all of his life points,” Boruto said, voice bursting with excitement that his body could not physically contain. Hence the frantic foot tapping and him almost bouncing off the living room couch.

“ _Oh no_! You’ve defeated me! _How_ can this be?” Mitsuki said, robotically throwing his hands in the air and voice completely deadpan.

“Not so fast! I activate my Ninja Trap Card which makes me able to steal Boruto’s Blue Eyes White-haired Ninja.” Sarada said mock-evil-ly “I can now attack Boruto's life points directly, making me the winner of this game! Mua ha ha ha!”

Sarada gathered all of their collective cards in a swipe and threw them up into the air. Mitsuki quickly lashed out and snatched one of the cards mid-air, and was on his way of trying to stuff it down his shirt sleeve until Boruto grabbed him by the wrist and took the card from him.

“Hey, why are you trying to hide this…Ninja Trap Card?”Boruto asked befuddled.

“No comment. I have absolutely _no_ reason. The reason is… simply no reason at all.” Mitsuki said while fake smiling his best stiff fake-grin like someone _obviously_ trying to hide _something_.

“You know, for _someon_ e who infiltrated a criminal organization and brought it down from within you _sure are_ a bad _liar_ ,” Sarada said, hands on her hips. Now she _really_ was curious.

“Yeah Mitsuki, what’s _with_ you?” Boruto asked.

Apparently, this was the final blow to Mitsuki’s constructed façade. His smile cracked and was quickly replaced with a gloom so depressing that it confused Sarada even more ( _if possible_ ).

“It’s my card. I had it all along, and I wanted to hide it from you.” Mitsuki said in a monotone.

“If you had used this card you could have stopped my attack! Were you letting me _win_? I mean, Sarada defeated me anyway so _uh_ … Mitsuki, were you letting me get to _second place_ intentionally?” Boruto asked.

“Yes. I like seeing you happy,” Mitsuki said, still without inflection.

“ _Well._ That’s _very_ nice of you, Mitsuki. But if you _hadn’t_ grabbed the card, _no-one_ would have known.” Sarada explained in a manner that she sure _hoped_ was helpful and _not_ condescending.

Mitsuki didn’t answer at first, he just stared at them both with an unreadable expression. The moment dragged on and Sarada realized that Mitsuki _really_ wasn’t going to answer them.

“Well, _uh_ , no harm was done! You were being nice, you don't have to feel bad at all!" Boruto piped up while scratching at his neck.

Mitsuki nodded once but continued to quietly stare at them for a very, _very_ , long and awkward moment. Sarada decided that she had finally had enough of whatever _this_ was and stood up.

“Mitsuki. What’s up, buddy? What are you thinking?” She said more aggressively than she intended.

“I’m _thinking_ that I lied to you guys. I probably shouldn’t do that, at least not anymore.” Mitsuki muttered to the floor more than anything else.

“Well, as lies go this one was _pretty_ harmless. What do you mean by _anymore_? Did you use to lie _a lot_ to us?” Boruto managed to say before Sarada could give him a death glare to shut him up because _Boruto you’re only making this worse, don’t ask him that you **idiot**_ **.**

“Not really, but I guess I have lied a lot out of omission. I didn’t tell you a lot of _things_ at first, and there are some _things_ I still haven’t said at all,” Mitsuki said.

“Do you mean the _‘you being a clone’_ -thing? Because you _did_ eventually tell us that. You’ve told us _a lot_ of things about you, we just weren’t really listening at first. How were _you_ supposed to tell us anything when _we_ weren’t even paying attention?” Sarada asked, trying to save whatever sanity was left in this conversation.

“Yeah! And you keep _overshar-_ I mean, you’re way more _open_ now! _It’s great_! That’s not the mark of a liar, that’s the mark of a great friend!” Boruto said while flexing (for _some_ reason luckily enough completely unbeknownst to Sarada).

“Hm. It’s just that I’m kind of starting to realize just how much my parent lies to _me_. I was just kind of worried that I was doing that to you guys as well,” Mitsuki said, lifting his eyes from the carpet.

“ _Uh_ , I guess there’s the slight physical family resemblance, what with the eyeliner and all… _And_ that when I met them they also kind of stared at me… I mean, _no offense_!” Boruto rambled on.

“I _think_ what Boruto _means_ to say is that even though you are probably somewhat similar to Orochimaru in some ways like _most_ children are to their parents _,_ you are _not_ them at all. You are your own person. And you can _always_ talk to us about stuff like this, ok?” Sarada tried pleadingly while trying to assess if the moment was right for a group hug.

She tried to make eye contact with Boruto to check if he was onto the same train of thought but he had apparently had the exact same idea _even faster_ than she had. Boruto was already leaning onto Mitsuki’s shoulder, so Sarada decided to also just go for the whole group hug thing.

"Thanks, you guys," Mitsuki said, voice slightly muffled by Sarada’s arm accidentally covering his mouth. “It really means a lot.”

-*-

 **Kagemasafan9000:** great news! i have some absolutely beautiful pictures of mr. sasuke now!!!

 **Sarada Uchiha:** Yay!

 **Mitsuki(?):** You’re gonna have to ssshow them tomorrow in person, my sssnake phone doesssn’t do ssso well with imagesss. I’m really looking forward to it though.

 **Kagemasa9000:** hehe yea sure!! oh boiiii i’m so excited, ur gonna love them, they even have good lighting!

 **Sarada Uchiha:** They better be damn good hamster pictures if I’m going to have to wait until tomorrow.

 **Kagemasa9000:** yea they’ll be worth it i promise. you’ll be SO HAPPY bc of how good the pictures are

 **Mitsuki(?):** Well, everything you do makesss me happy. You too, Sssarada. You two are really great.

 **Kagemasa9000:** bro….

 **Sarada Uchiha:** Aww, you too Mitsuki <3! See you guys tomorrow!

 **Kagemasafan9000:** ye

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don’t forget to please leave me comments and kudos if you like this! :3


	7. We only want to sing you to sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The continuation of the Mr. Sasuke the Hamster arc! Also, more Kawaki!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i THINK this will be the last chapter of this fanfic xD well, i hope you've enjoyed reading this as much as I've enjoyed writing it!  
> beta read by: @reaperduckling

"Guys, I have some good news and bad news. The bad news is that I accidentally deleted all of the pictures of Mr. Sasuke the Hamster off my camera roll. However, I can draw you guys a quick picture of her so that you guys at least get the gist!” Boruto said, swaying from side to side in a little dance.

Sarada didn’t have the time to answer as Boruto swiftly and decisively pulled out a piece of paper and started drawing on it. Quicker than lightning, he revealed his doodle:

“It’s beautiful…” said Mitsuki, starry-eyed.

“Yeah, it _is_ pretty cute! Does she often climb ropes?” Sarada asked.

“ _Well,_ she _technically_ doesn’t have a rope to climb yet. But I’d like to think so! She can do anything she sets her mind to, I believe in her,” Boruto said while dreamily looking into the great distance (a small gathering of trashcans in the usual city square they were meeting up in).

“What do the hearts symbolize?” Mitsuki said.

“They stand for my undying love for Mr. Sasuke the Hamster, _duh_!” said Boruto while doing that weird ‘rubbing his finger under his nose’-thing that he always did, like he was trying to get rid of a booger. Sarada did not understand this one bit but decided to maybe just ignore the nasty behavior at hand and focus more on the star of the show, Mr. Sasuke the Hamster.

“Why did you name her after _my Dad_? You never gave me a straight answer before?” Sarada asked curiously.

“Isn’t it obvious? Because your Dad is really cool and Mr. Sasuke the Hamster is also, uh, _really_ cool! She could probably even be a ninja too if she put her back into it!” Boruto said.

“Training her in the art of ninjutsu would probably the best way to give her a fighting chance if she were to accidentally escape to the outside world. There are predators such as birds and I don’t even know how many snakes I’ve released into the wild by now.” Mitsuki mused while the fact that Boruto was probably joking about the Ninja Hamster-thing was probably going _way_ over his head.

But knowing _Boruto,_ maybe he wasn’t joking? Sarada’s suspicions were immediately confirmed when Boruto clenched his fist into the air dramatically.

“Yeah!!! Let’s all train Mr. Sasuke the Hamster to become a ninja together!” Boruto announced.

-*-

The training began that night. They all went to Boruto’s house, armed with several kinds of hamster-appropriate workout gear and “weapons” made out of popsicle sticks. Trying to engage Mr. Sasuke with all of the _nice things_ they’d _made just for her_ did however prove to be quite difficult. So far, she mostly bit on the popsicle sticks and she _absolutely did not want_ to climb a rope.

“Come on, Mr. Sasuke, your future career depends on this!” Boruto cheered her on.

Mitsuki seemed to be taking this just as seriously.

“She really does need this. I’ve upped the local snake population so much that the CEO of the Konohagakure Environmental Protection Agency, Ms. Maia, has moved on from writing me hate letters written in what I assume is her own blood to sending me letters filled with snake stoo-“ he managed to get out before Sarada realized that she should _definitely_ jam her fingers in her ears _right now._

Because she was momentarily thankfully couldn’t hear anything, she missed the sound of footsteps that would have altered her to Kawaki’s sudden arrival at the doorway.

“…re you guys doing? It looks really fun-I mean, _fundamentally_ stupid!” Kawaki said, crossing his arms sourly.

“We’re training Mr. Sasuke the Hamster to be _a ninja_ and you’re _not invited_!” Boruto screamed and tried to slam the door shut right on Kawaki’s person.

Kawaki, however, stopped the door with his foot. He winced in pain but quickly covered it up with a scowl.

“If you want to fight me we could take it outside,” Kawaki threatened.

“Wouldn’t you rather hang out with us and this lovely hamster though? I don’t think you wanted to call us ‘fundamentally stupid’ at all, I _think_ you actually just wanted to say the word ‘fun’ and changed it last minute to uphold your tough-guy attitude,” Mitsuki said.

“What are you, some kind of _wise guy_? _Mr. Psychoanalysis_?” Kawaki growled.

Sarada now felt the need to step in because _if_ Kawaki were to start an actual fight Mr. Sasuke the Hamster might actually get hurt(she was not, for very valid reasons, as concerned for Mitsuki or Boruto though).

“Everybody calm down! Kawaki, can’t you just… do something else? Something you like? And be happy?” Sarada suggested with a tongue made out of _silk_ (well, not exactly, but she was at least better than her teammates).

“I’m never happy,” Kawaki said bitterly, but he at least seemed to calm down somewhat.

Mitsuki walked over and stared Kawaki right in the eye like he wanted to intimidate him. The words tumbling out of his mouth were very different though:

“I also feel very unhappy a lot of the time. Rather, I just don’t feel _very much_. Or _maybe_ it’s that I actually feel a normal amount but I just repress it because of my traumatic childhood and severe memory loss. Maybe-“

“What are you getting at?” Kawaki scoffed.

“What I’m _getting at_ is that even though I’m not even sure of who I really am, I feel the happiest when I’m hanging out with my friends. I think that when you’re going through _something_ that causes you sadness, focusing on the small things that make your day can be really helpful,” Mitsuki said.

“So… your version of happiness is training Boruto’s dumb hamster to become a _ninja_?” Kawaki said in a tone of voice that was surprisingly lacking in the mocking department.

Mitsuki shrugged, and as Boruto suddenly violently lunged forward towards Kawaki, he reflexively grabbed Boruto and held him back.

“Don’t you _dare_ call my hamster Mr. Sasuke _dumb_!” Boruto wailed at the top of his lungs while clawing at the air in Kawaki’s direction as if he wanted to draw _blood_.

“What we’re trying to say is that having fun is a lot more, uh, _fun_ than trying to act cool and closed off all the time. If you just tried it _for once_ , maybe you’d realize that too.” Sarada summarized while watching on as Boruto tried to escape Mitsuki’s hold on him by trying to tickle him, hilariously _failing_ , and then giving up.

“You can release me now. I won’t try to fight Kawaki _this time_ ,” Boruto said, head hanging.

“I can tell by your heartbeat that you’re lying but whatever,” Mitsuki said and stepped back.

Kawaki hadn’t said anything for a while, so Sarada looked over at him. Kawaki was standing stiffly with tautly clenched fists and wearing an agonized expression on his face. Suddenly, all the tension in his body seemed to release.

“So…uh, do you have room for one more?” Kawaki stuttered out.

“Yeah! Sure!” Boruto said and pulled out a chair for Kawaki.

-*-

Looking back on that night Sarada chalked Mr. Sasuke the Hamster’s ninjutsu training up to being kind of a failure, honestly. But it was the beginning of something else; a _beginning_ of a friendship. Meaning that Kawaki ominously hovering over them like a teen thundercloud whenever they hung out at Boruto’s house wasn’t a bad thing anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TEH END....
> 
> please leave comments and kudos if you've liked this fanfic :)


End file.
